A Girlfriend’s Guide to a Break-Up

Hello friends! It’s been a while since my last post. After I came back from L.A. my boyfriend and I of over two years decided to split. I’m not going to lie, it was pretty traumatic for me. This was my first legitimate relationship, and was honestly hoping that it would be my only one. It’s been a month now since things have ended, and I am still trying to process things. It almost feels like a divorce. He has to move out of my place, separate our belongings, changing names on the bills, canceling the gym membership. It’s hard having to cut ties.

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I called one of my best friends bawling crying, explaining everything that happened. She booked a flight from Park City, Utah and was at my house within three days. My friends bought me flowers, my boss gave me a gift certificate to Tiffany’s. I mean the amount of support that I had was completely overwhelming. They knew how happy I was with my boyfriend and were just as devastated as I was.

I surrounded myself with my friends and family, because I had no idea how to handle this. My emotions were everywhere. From anger to sadness, and even a little self-loathing. I kept asking myself, what did I do wrong? How could I have stopped this? Am I not enough? My mom had to remind me how great I am and what I have to offer, and that my ex is an idiot. It immediately made me feel better.

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While, I am no relationship expert, but women have a tendency initial pointing the blame at themselves. Why is that? Instead of realizing how amazing we really are, we’re so quick to point a finger at ourselves. We have to remember if that person doesn’t want to be apart of that greatness that makes up who you are, stand by your side while things get tough, then it’s his loss. Remember those words, “It’s his loss.”

Not that I can relate to Khloe Kardashian, but she’s been pretty open about the demise of her marriage and how she coped. Of course she was sad, but she also took time to reconnect with herself. She took a step back and decided it was time to put herself first. Because no one is ever going to take better care of you, than you yourself. She turned her life around, started working out a lot, got healthy, wrote a book, and created her new hit talk-show, Kocktails with Khloe. She’s been an inspiration when it comes to self-healing. I mean look at her, she looks beyond amazing! I plan on really focusing on working out and eating healthy. Cut back drinking on weekdays. Spend more time writing. Maybe take a few dance classes. Or even buy a dog. Devote my energy into something positive.

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Dealing with a break-up is challenging. Who do you talk to? You find yourself crying uncontrollably at random moments. You have a snotty nose and red devil eyes, watching Bridget Jone’s Diary with a pint of ice cream in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. How do you cope? How do you make the sadness go away. Huffington Post has a great article on different ways to do deal with a break up. What I’ve learned from reading this article, is that it’s okay to cry and to be sad for a while. It’s going to take time. It’s going to hurt and it’s necessary to feel and understand all your emotions. Bottling them up is only going to make it worse and develop resentment.

“Everything happens for a reason” as my mom says. It’s how you handle the situation that’s been presented to you, and recognizing how much stronger you will be in the end, whether it’s good or bad. I wrote a little love note to myself after the break-up, reminding myself, that no matter what I am feeling, I will be okay. Life will move on whether you like it or not, so you better jump on the bandwagon. I read the note to myself first thing in the morning and right as I am going to bed. It’s a constant reminder to myself to never forget my worth and what I bring to the table. Because I am fantastic, and sometimes you just need a little encouragement from yourself 🙂

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Yes, you’re going to be emotional for a while, yes you’re going to be lonely, yes it hurts seeing your ex with someone else. But don’t lose sight of you. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. If you do, you’ll come out better than ever! #LoveYourselfFirst

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